There's a self-service soda machine at the newly opened Boardwalk Fresh Burgers & Fries on Hermosa Avenue, just south of Pier Avenue in groovy Hermosa Beach.
It's like nothing I've ever seen before. It's not much bigger than a bar refrigerator - just a rectangular box with a touch screen. There are 22 options for soft drinks on the touch screen. I thought that meant there are 22 different soft drinks (including Dasani water) available, but as one of the affable counter people at Boardwalk explained, when you press most of the 22 options, another half-dozen options open up.
Options of flavored sodas and flavored waters add up to (as the menu notes), "Over 120 soda flavors or iced tea." I don't know how the machine does it. It's not that large. Perhaps there are unseen pipes coming out of the back that connect to a storage room filled with flavored drinks.
And when you consider that the drinks are bottomless - free refills all around - the opportunity to spend a pleasant afternoon trying every flavor is hard to resist. (That must be murder on the profit margin.)
Hermosa's Boardwalk Fresh is the first Los Angeles-area branch of an East Coast chain that dates back to 1981. Like Five Guys, it's here to take on the locals - everyone from In-N-Out to The Counter to Umami Burger (which has a branch right across the street).
There are two other California branches of Boardwalk Fresh, one in Costa Mesa, the other opening soon in Huntington Beach. Otherwise, the chain has a few dozen branches scattered across 13 states, and proudly declares itself home to "America's #1 Fries an Ocean of Taste ."
If Hamptons in Manhattan Beach serves the Cuisine of The Hamptons, then Boardwalk Fresh serves the Cuisine of Ocean City, Md. Brothers Dave and Fran DiFerdinando wanted to re-create the fries they grew up with there as children. And so, they opened Boardwalk Fries in White Marsh, Md., in 1981. And from there, they took off - franchising their take on hot, crispy fries-in-a-cup from coast to coast.
The story of the fries, according to their website, is admirably detailed: "Our famous fries are hand-cut every day and only made to order. They are cooked in 100 percent peanut oil multiple times at different temperatures to give them that perfect flavor and texture. After the final cook at the hottest temperature, the Boardwalk fries are dumped and lightly salted and ready to be served just like Dave and Fran had them as kids growing up at the beach. We recommend dressing them the way they do in Maryland, with loads of vinegar and Old Bay Seasoning ."
Both seasonings are found on the self-service flavorings counter, where you can pour on all you want.
"Unlimited" is a popular word at Boardwalk, where they promise "Free Unlimited Toppings" (lettuce, tomato, pickles, relish, white onions, red onions, grilled onions, green peppers, sauteed mushrooms, jalapeno peppers); and "Free Unlimited Sauces" (mayo, ketchup, mustard, barbecue, ranch, chipotle, Thousand Island, Buffalo, honey mustard). There's Cheddar, Swiss, American, provolone, crumbled blue, bacon, chili and avocado, as well.
You can make quite a production of your food. Though really, any joint that offers peppery-salty Old Bay Seasoning for its fries is in a class of its own.
The fries come regular, medium and large (there are also curly funnel fries and chili cheese fries), in a cup, crunchy and salty and perfect for munching on as you meander down the street.
But though fries are the dominant motif of Boardwalk (or at least, they were when the place was born), burgers have become an essential part of the mix. (Do note that the name is "Boardwalk Fresh Burgers & Fries" and not the other way around.)
The details concerning the burgers are simpler than the fries: "We use only fresh, never-frozen ground beef. Every morning we hand make every single burger patty ."
But there are choices to be made: between a white bun, a wheat bun or a lettuce wrap; between cheeses, bacon, chili and avocado; and ultimately, between how wild you want to go with the toppings and the sauces.
They're fine burgers, though not as distinctive as the creation at Umami. On the other hand, the burgers cost about half what the Umami version costs.
There's a turkey burger as well, and a black bean veggie patty. If such be your need, there it is.
There's more, too: chicken tenders, a tuna sandwich, a BLT, a Philly cheesesteak, a hot dog and a corn dog. There are a couple of salads. The side dishes are three - mac 'n' cheese, applesauce and sliced apples. Seriously, it says "applesauce and sliced apples." It must be an Ocean City thing.
There are also shakes, and a root beer float. There's wine - why? And the beer is hawked as "Coldest in Hermosa: 29.3 Degrees." (Which reminds me of the old Spinal Tap howl about their amplifiers going up to 11. 10 or 11? 29.3 or 30? What's the difference?)
With Umami on one side of the street and Boardwalk on the other, I'm looking forward to a good old-fashioned Burger War. Bring in Five Guys and In-N-Out and the various bar burgers around the corner on Pier Avenue, and we've got a proper Battle of the Beef Patties.
Right now, Hermosa is the best place in the South Bay to watch sports and drink J germeister. Some nice sliders would be good too. Where's White Castle now that we need 'em?
Merrill Shindler is a freelance restaurant critic. His show, "Feed Your Face," can be heard from 4 to 5 p.m. Saturdays on KABC (790 AM).
Boardwalk Fresh Burgers & Fries
Address: 1031 Hermosa Ave.,
Hermosa Beach.
Phone: 310-318-0533.
Website: www.boardwalkfreshburgersandfries.com.
Cuisine: American.
Hours: Lunch and dinner, every day.
Details: Beer and wine. Small parking lot. Reservations not necessary.
Prices: Burgers, $4.25-$7.25. Favorites, $3.25-$8.25. Fries, $2.95-$5.95.
Cards: MC, V.
Our rating: 2 1/2 stars
On the menu:
Single, Double and Triple Burgers $4.25-$6.75
Avocado-Bacon Burger $7.25
Mushroom-Swiss Burger $7.25
Barbecue-Bacon-Cheddar Burger $7.25
Hot Dog $3.75
Chicken Tender Platter $7.50
Grilled Chicken Sandwich $6.75
Tuna Sandwich $6.75
Philly Cheesesteak $8.25
Grilled Cheese Sandwich $3.25
World Famous Boardwalk Fries $2.95-$5.95